Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
