READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
