Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
