no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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