just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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