butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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