Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
