screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
