my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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