help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize