I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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