There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
