When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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