Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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