I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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