My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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