hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize