Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
