Got a toothbrush?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
too bad you live with your parents still
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
