so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
