I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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