Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
