At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
