Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize