The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
