Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
