It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
