yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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