white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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