I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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