remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
