the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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