And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
