you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
