if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
