i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
