I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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