question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
