Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you inspire me to be a worse person
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
