i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
