everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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