Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
