D3 body, D1 cock
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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