And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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