Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
