i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
