I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
