we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
