Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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