It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
