if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
