Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
