we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
