My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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