Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
