Sry I called you an 8
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
