Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
