Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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