why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
