winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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