he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
