Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
