Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Found your dick twin last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
