I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
