so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
