A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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