Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
