no you cant smoke seaweed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
