hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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