By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
