the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
