Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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