Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize