Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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