This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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