He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
