Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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