Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The Olympian is in my bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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