BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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