Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
