FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
